I’m barely engaged and Satan already hates my marriage. He hates that Devon and I have decided to join forces. He hates that we are going to make a powerful team, stronger together than we would be apart. He hates that we will see the worst in each other, but still love each other unconditionally. He hates every bit of it, and I have experienced the evidence of it.
Devon proposed to me two weeks ago, but I’ve already felt moments where the pressure of wedding planning overtakes the joy of engagement. I’ve felt the enemy trying his very best to shoot arrows of anxiety at me about where the wedding will be, how much it will cost, or who we will invite. His goal is to distract me from the joy and purpose of our marriage and preoccupy me with the insignificant details of our wedding.
I have a serious problem with the wedding industry right now. Fifty years ago, weddings were thrown together last minute, but marriages were built with endurance. Today, weddings are planned down to each petal in the bride’s bouquet- but it seems like marriages are thrown out when they aren’t easy anymore. And I feel like the way we treat weddings might have something to do with that.
Culture has it backwards. There are countless websites dedicated to wedding planning- The Knot. Wedding Wire. Brides.com. I’ve spent the past two weeks entrenched in wedding planning websites, and found that there are countless articles about finding the perfect nail polish color and the perfect bridesmaids dresses and the perfect consistency of icing on your wedding cake. But it’s all a huge wash! Because even the most picturesque wedding won’t keep your marriage strong. Why aren’t there any articles on these websites about how to prepare your heart for your actual marriage? You know, like, the part that lasts decades and comes after the ONE DAY of your wedding? Being in this generation of wedding obsession makes it really easy to get swept up in the hype of planning a magazine-worthy wedding. And I think it’s one way Satan has succeeded in distracting us from the core of what marriage is about.
There might not be much I can do about the way our culture has diluted the beauty of marriage. But I do have control over the way I view my own marriage and my own engagement season. I recognize that my wedding lasts one day, but my marriage will last my whole life!!! And I’m so excited for it!!! That’s why I will be putting more work into my future marriage than I do into the tiny details of my wedding. I will never stop putting work into my marriage, because all beautiful things require hard work.
You would never expect an oak tree to grow if you planted it on rocks and sand and never gave it water. On our wedding day, we will be planting the seed of our marriage. And we will be responsible for nurturing it and giving it what it needs to grow. So right now I’m focusing on the soil where that seed will soon go. I’m focusing on the dirt. It’s not polished and shiny like the wedding magazines portray. It looks more like prayer and honest conversations and instilling an undying determination to choose love even if you feel like digging up everything you worked to plant.
One day, I hope to write a book about wedding planning and never mention color coordination, guest count, or flower centerpieces. I’ve been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl, but now that I’m here, I realize it’s going to be even more beautiful than any of my dreams. And that has nothing to do with the decorations, and everything to do with the man who will stand across from me, the people who will stand with us, and the God who loves us enough to let us experience just a fraction of His love in each other.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”