I don’t know about you, but there’ve been times that I’ve become frustrated to the point of wanting to give up on trying to understand God. Even though my faith is the most important thing in my life, sometimes I get upset by my lack of understanding.
Sometimes the Bible confuses me, scares me, or frustrates me. I read certain passages and end my quiet time even more confused than when I started it. It’s those times when I get upset. Other times, things happen in my life that don’t make ANY sense to me. Of course, being human means I don’t have the capability to always understand what God is doing, but when things feel really off, it’s difficult to trust in the big picture. Like when a Bible verse seems to be directly contradicted by the unexpected death of someone who was by all means “upright”, “following the Lord”, and all the other prerequisites of that verse.
I have so many questions that I’m still searching for answers to, but I have ALWAYS come back to this idea: God is never going to give up on me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t know if you need to hear this too, but God is never giving up on you, either. He’s the kind of God who will follow you around to worst places in your mind just to be there in case you decide you want to talk to Him. He waits on you when you’re ignoring Him. He’s patient when you try to disprove every concept in the Bible & find flaw in His word. He’s listening when you yell & curse at Him, and He’s forgiving when you come back after it all.
I understand that God will never give up on me, and I’m learning more and more that He can handle all the bad stuff we bring Him. Right now, I’m in a season of asking lots of questions. I can’t seem to ever get enough answers these days. And in the midst of my questioning today, God is writing answers into the pages of the story of my life- I just need to wait for the next chapters.